You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
