i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
