I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
