I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
