Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
