A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
