it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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