its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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