I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
