it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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