How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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