I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
