he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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