I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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