I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
