I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
