I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up under a house in Key West
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