He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
where are my eyebrows?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
