she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
