Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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