How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
