they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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