youre lurking in front of me
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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