I think I died a long time ago.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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