We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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