East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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