So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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