Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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