My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
