dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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