FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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