im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
