Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
