That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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