You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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