Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
