apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
