She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
