I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
