Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Screwed.edu
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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