I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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