Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
