fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I skipped work to stalk him.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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