i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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