God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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