If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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