you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
