did you get engaged???
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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