im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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