I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
