is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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