Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This house was built for laser tag.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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