How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
